Shine

What a week its been.

Wednesday night the kids and I traveled to Pennsylvania so we could be present to bid farewell to this dear lady, my aunt Sue.

I picked this picture because it was her ready to go cheer us on as we ran our 2nd half marathon in Pittsburgh.  Cheerleader is how my sister described her when she stood up on behalf of the Snyder Cousins at Sue's funeral.  And that she was, she was always happy to see you and always an encouragement.  She was so brave and inspiring as she battled cancer.  "Kicking and Screaming".

We love you Sue and you will be forever missed.

Thursday was also my Mom's birthday.

Friday the Mister came down for the weekend with the Pup.


October 6, 1998


Not gonna lie this year has been a rough one. It has been by far the worst year of our marriage, yet somehow by the end...maybe the best.

My life pretty much imploded around this time last year.

Everyday its a struggle to believe we have moved beyond that, that we are healing and things are not the same as they were last year. I love this guy so much. I can't even. So today again I am choosing to look at the good. To see how far we have come this year. NOT live in fear of being in that place again.  The above picture has been my phone screen for almost a year. Since December at least, with the goal in mind that it would stay there until we looked at happy again.

Here we are, October 6, 2018. YEAR 20! We made it! Here's lots of new *good* memories and the next 20 years.

I started this book weeks and weeks ago and for some reason set it aside. Maybe because this weekend was the time I needed the words inside. I don't know. I don't agree with everything in this book but at the same time it gave me hope. Turned my eyes to God {again} to keep healing my hurt and keep molding me into the woman He wants me to be. Reminding me both love and pain are necessary in that process. To open my heart. Be open and honest. To keep trying and growing and being me.

This morning's Jesus Calling.  Reminding me life is hard, but God is with me. That He will sustain me when I am weary. To stop complaining and SHINE.

I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint. Jeremiah 31:25 NIV

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky. Philippians 2:14-15 NIV

My focus and goal for today- NO COMPLAINING!!!

Not Today . . .

I woke up cold and grumpy.

Why???

I had the most amazing weekend. I was not going to allow the devil to steal my joy today.  I took it right back. Life is too short to be grumpy.

This weekend we were privileged to attend the wedding of my husband's sister.  All the more precious to me because 10 months ago I was afraid I wouldn't get to attend this wedding.  But God is good.  The picture below fills me with joy.  My heart with hope.  What ever struggle you are facing today- God knows and He's got your back. Believe me.

"19 years and 50 weeks"
❤💖❤

I feel like I look awful in this picture and I don't even care because just the fact that it exists makes me so happy. My husband took it. MY Husband.  This may seem stupid- but it is a very specific answer to prayer. God keeps reminding me- stop looking at the past, where you have been.  Look forward. Enjoy the now. Don't let the pain of the past ruin the joy of the present. (I came very close to doing that this weekend.)

God's beautiful creation.


The happy couple....

In case you need reminded like I do {frequently}


One of the things I love about fall... SOUP! I'll be doing a LIVE video over on my facebook page tonight. Come check it out around 5ish.  Wanna cook with me? 😉  Here is a link to the recipe. Baked Potato Chowder.

dream big, pray big

So as I said yesterday- I'm reading this book- The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson.

I find myself reading with a hopeful yet skeptical heart.

Last night I went on a walk with my best friend. We talked about dreams.

This morning I spent real time praying for my family. Like real prayers not just the surface. Like I hated to put down the pen and get ready for work type of prayers.

Today I am reading in The Circle Maker about dreams. BIG dreams. Praying circles around your big dreams with HOPE and EXPECTATION.

This week I started making myself a daily page. I pen an inspiration or scripture, my to-do list, my thankful list, my water intake, etc...

As I was reading I wrote in the middle of my daily page God CAN! Doodling cloud shape around it. I wrote under it-

DREAM BIG

PRAY BIG

Two HUGE God sized prayers came immediately to my heart. I wrote them down too. 

I clicked over to our church website- I don't even know why and there at the bottom of the page was this promise...

Coincidence... I think not.

So I continue to pray- believing God is going to completely restore our marriage- making it NEW. Better and stronger than ever.

The 2nd request isn't for me- so I'll keep that one for now.

But I know He is listening. I know He cares. I know He will answer in His perfect time.

With God nothing is impossible.

the weekend...

My sister and I went to bookclub on Friday night. I almost let the weather deter me.  But I'm glad we went. This is our new read- I'm waiting for it to come in at my library.

Hannah has been spoiling us- making breakfast on Saturday mornings. 

Saturday night we had a date night. Our first one in ages, and the start many, many more.


My DAD preached at our church on Sunday <3 He talked about how Jesus can bring Hope to even the most hopeless of situations.  If you are so inclined you can check it out -->HERE<--

Hannah and I made the jalapeno popper cheeseball again for our Super Fellowship Party.  Wanna check out our facebook LIVE video from last year? It's (((HERE))) Also can you believe its been a year since we started doing Live videos?? Craziness.

I hung out with my friends the first half. But a lot of people left at half time.  So the 2nd half I sat with my mister and watched the game. It felt good.

Our first cookie order is going in! Need some girl scout cookies? Shoot me a messgae!


This guy! I can't even...

my verse today...

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; 

be courageous; be strong. 

Do everything in love. 

1 Corinthians 16:13-14

don't give up

I'm tired and discouraged today. So tired. My heart is weary and yet even as I type I am convicted because God says...

• My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness. 2 Corinthians  12:9
• Do not grow weary of doing good, for at the proper time you will reap a harvest if you do not give up. Galatians 6:9 (Emphasis added).
• We wait in HOPE for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. Psalm 33:20
• Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 14:6

Last night at Mom's Connect we talked about Grace and prayer. Specific Prayers. With boldness and confidence. 

I was reminded of my job, and what a specific timely answer to prayer it was.  God granted my hearts desire, things I thought were impossible.

The following is an excerpt from my blog just before my first interview for the job I now have. I job that was a specific answer to prayer. Oh I had to wait and the journey to it was hard and discouraging- but God saw me through and gave me the desires of my heart- I have to believe he can do it again.

This week frustration and despair has threatened to take over again. Yet I continue to cling to hope. Thursday while I was out for a run I got a call about an opportunity. One I am excited and hopeful about. I have an interview on Tuesday and would truly appreciate your prayers.
For close to a year now the idea of a new job has been on the table. Since summer I have been seeking one in earnest to no avail. It's discouraging and frustrating.
Yet, God keeps whispering his promises to my heart. Trust. Believe. Good things are out there.
The desire of my heart is to find a job close to home. One that is flexible enough I can be available to my children if need be. I don't care how old they are, always I will be mommy first. One that will not require to put Hannah in before school child care. One that will still be "enough". It seems impossible.
And yet this morning in my devo I was remind... Nothing is impossible with God. So I pray. I hope. I believe.

So today I am trying to once again trust God. To hold onto HOPE but also let go of my expectations.  I feel lost and alone. But I am not.

"As prayer warriors, we must remember that no matter how hopeless a situations may appear to us, God gives us power in prayer to do something about it. We maybe overwhelmed by it, but God is not. We may not see a way out, but God can. Because of Him, we can make difference!" 

{Prayer Warrior, pp 17}

ToL 1.18

I wrote yesterday of God's faithfulness. My thankfulness. My heart full and peaceful.

Then BAM! Spiritual attack. I felt my heart and steps falter, I was on the brink of going down. I ran to God. And then my husband. We sat and talked for a while.  He had to go back to work. I went home to continue nursing my aching head and hurting heart. Still shaken yet confident God was still working.

I stopped at the store for the essentials. Milk. Pizza for tonight's supper. Coffee. Always Coffee. Gatorade for my head. And of course chocolate syrup. ;-)


Home. I made a can of soup. Snuggled with the pup. Watched War Room again. Then retreated to my room to try and sleep a little. I ended up just praying and reading my Bible. The headache though at least beginning to abate.



I took Hannah to her piano lesson. Tried to read a bit. Ended up just praying more.


Home again I set about making dinner.  Cooking soothing my soul. This recipe was so simple and delicious. I recommend. Check it out here.


After dinner my children doted on me- making me tea and an ice cream sundae.  I sat at the table while Hannah did her home work and read the last 40 pages of the book club book. On top of my emotional turmoil of the day- this book wrecked me. I picked up another library book and opened it and immediately put it down. I need time to decompress- I joked to Hannah.

This morning. I am seeking Hope. I did start a new book in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep. I picked up the Kindle App on my phone since I could read it in the dark, not leave bed and my sleeping love's side. I started A Fierce Love by Shauna Shanks it made me feel a little less alone. Reminding me I am not alone. God is in this- he is working.

This morning I marveled at the beauty of the sun shining through our neighbors snowy trees.

God is here. He is working.
This I have to believe-

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held.

snow, ice, & books

"When we open to the truth of God's Word, we become spiritually alive. 

It renews our life everyday. And it never fails." 

-Prayer warrior, Stormie Omartian pp91

I woke up this morning with dread. I didn't want to get up.  Thoughts like- I hate my life resounding.

I didn't sleep well.  Chance and Storm were restless and kept waking me up. Like having babies again... those two I swear.  I think part of it was it was just so stinkin' cold. :-/

Anyway- I hauled my weary butt out of bed- reminding myself- I don't actually hate my life.  There is so much good.  Focus on the good! I started cleaning the kitchen I had neglected last night, thankful I didn't have to pack lunches (no school today).

Finally, I made my coffee and sat at the table with my Bible.  I opened my email to look for a devotion to read and saw the Loving God Greatly Study on James was just starting today.  Perfect! I thought.  I opened it and was slapped in the face with this verse.

Count it all joy my brothers, when you are faced with trials of many kinds. Because you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance. James 1:2-3

Ugh! Really God?!?  But I read on anyway and found the reading refreshing. Renewing my strength. My hope. Resolving to go out with Joy. Not to be defeated today.  I will not let my heart become hard and bitter. I will feel, and I will love. I will let God bring healing and answers in His time.  There is always, always a choice.

From today's devotional:

So this year as you face new trials, consider this:
1. Your attitude affects your outcome.
2. Choose gratitude for the trial because of what the trial can produce in you.
3. Look for ways to turn your hardship into learning.
4. Turn sleepless nights and restless mornings into opportunities for prayer.
5. Choose to see the trial as an opportunity for growth.
And remember, in the midst of the trials and storms in our lives, God promises to never leave us or forsake us. You are not and never will be left to go through them alone. You are loved by the One who willingly hung on the cross for you so you can spend eternity with Him.

So I am resolving to stop scowling and sighing.  To try and spin it positive and be thankful when I start to complain.

Here is some good- from the weekend...

Book club was canceled AGAIN because of weather. So bummed.  We ended up doing it virtually with  facebook live- which was kinda hysterical.  I also did a LIVE demo of the snack I planned to take and ate it myself (well not all of it) ;-P You can view it on my facebook page.  Planning to get back to our semi regular LIVE Pampered Chef videos.




I was chosen to pick the new selection- I happened to have just gotten this one from the library so that's what I picked.  I am about 3/4's finished- I did basically nothing yesterday afternoon but read. It's really good!

Mikayla said Friday's rehearsal was awesome! I can not wait to see the show. I am so happy she is able to take part in this show.


I'm itching to get back to running. But weather is not cooperating with me.  Snow/Ice/Frigid Temps. I opted to stay in my nice warm bed a little longer on Saturday. ;-)

When we did get moving Rhett drove us in his truck to run so errands so I didn't have to venture out and drive on the icky roads.  We were especially thankful when we got to the church and it was in the process of being plowed. I never would have made it through the drifted snow in my van :-P Also Hannah was not as disgruntled as she looks in the picture. She broke out in giggles as soon I as I took it.




Rhett chiseling ice off his window (with a credit card 😂)so we could hit the Dunkin' drive thru for hot cocoa #hitthespot


Chancey staying nice and warm.


Sunday was even colder. Dipping down into the negatives temps once again...

My sister sent me this Sunday morning on our way to church- Our family at her wedding reception.


My brother saved me by putting the communion juice out for me.  Halfway to church I knew we weren't going to make it in time and texted him. I was so thankful that the four of us were going to church together. I didn't let the fact we were running late get me down.  Previously- I would have been stewing the whole way.

Taco Soup in the crockpot after Church for the win.

Definitely a hit!

Like I said- lots of reading Sunday afternoon. This was while I was sitting at church while Ryan was at youth group.  Mom's Connect starts back up this coming week.


Back home I sat on the floor with the mister leaning against the couch, his arm draped around me snuggled close to his side, we watched The Office on Netflix.  #sothankful #itsthelittlethings =)

A random memory from 5 years ago today.  Man, I'm crazy about this guy.


Hope you kept warm and safe this weekend! Be blessed this week... look for the good. ;-)

DAY 5

I'm tired. I'm discouraged. I want to go home. I want to be held and treasured. I want to be told everything will be ok.

January 5. I have little hope 2018 is going to improve. I know that is the wrong attitude. Last night I spent a couple hours reading my Bible, praying, listening to the sermon from Sunday I missed being out of town. I felt better. Hopeful. Determined.

But today- life continues. Same as always. Snow storm adding to the storm inside.

It just feels like life shouldn't be this hard.  I shouldn't have to fight so hard to not despair every day.

I'm sad and I'm lonely and I'm so tired of it.

I'm not giving up. Just having a moment.

Later I will be home. In my warm, comfy clothes. Back in my war room AKA my bed. Word/sword in hand.

In the meantime...

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and 

saves those who are crushed in spirit. 

 Psalm 34:18

ToL ~ 12.21

Rhett's car has been in the shop since Tuesday.  Despite the inconvenience of not having my vehicle, carpooling has been kinda fun.  Having those extra minutes with him, I wouldn't otherwise. After the last two months- I am soaking up every bit of togetherness I can. And today- I even got coffee out of the deal ;-)

this- Pampered Chef posted this and I died laughing. So me.


God is good. Every day. Today I am feeling thankful and blessed.


Fierce is going to be my word for 2018.

I loved this definition from the British dictionary - vehement, intense, or strong. While often fierce has a negative connotation. THIS is my focus for next year-vehement, intense, strong: in prayer, in God's WORD, in running, in fighting to restore my home, my marriage and my family. In being the wife my husband needs, the wife GOD has called me to be. Discovering the AMY He created me to be.  The person I am- besides "wife" or "mom".  These two roles have defined me most of my life.  They are roles I dearly love. But if nothing else this fall, I have learned no matter what my circumstances- I am still ME. Created with a purpose and a reason. I am valuable and important. Beautiful and treasured.  I am hand-made by the Almighty God.

Recognizing the battle is not over- it has merely begun... BUT I will NOT be DEFEATED. 

My goofy kids and their pets :P

The normalcy. Oh, this simple text flooded my heart with joy and reassurance on Friday.


This year I already got what I most desired for Christmas. My very own Christmas miracle. I will treasure it, nurture it everyday. <3  I am still marveling at how life can turn on a dime. Things can change in an instant, both good and bad.  So live in the moment, treasure each one as they came.  Seek God's peace and strength on the hard ones.  He will see you through.  Never miss an opportunity show love and kindness. Say I love you. Hug and kiss. Find the good in each day. Its there. :-)

Linked up today with Amanda at Running with Spoons