Redeemed

I spent some time and basically read through all my 2018 blog entries. I started in January because I wanted to see if I met my goals for this year. Turns out- I didn't have any. HA! I well remember the despair the surrounded me on New Years Day. I wanted to feel hopeful- instead I felt dread. Rhett had been back home a couple weeks and I wasn't sure. Sure about anything. If he really wanted me. Loved me. If he would stay. If he just came back because of the kids. If anything was going to change. If I was just a big fat failure.  I sure felt like it. My life and the *new* year just felt like a big joke.  I felt utterly alone.  My sister set me down in one of the bedrooms upstairs at Grammy's house and gave me a talking too.

Sometime around the end of 2017 I picked Fierce for my word for 2018.  I knew my marriage and my husband were worth fighting for. I was determined to give it all I had. And to battle on my knees in Prayer. Prayer is powerful and the battle is very real.

 

January was a very hard month. Then one day at the end of January we turned a corner and just like that I knew I had my husband back.  It didn't get better over night. Its been a long hard year. But we walked it together. I know God worked a miracle in our life and He's not finished yet.

And so as 2018 draws to a close, in spite of the battles- it was a good year. So much good.  My heart is thankful.

I'm thinking about my goals for 2019.  Honestly I love New Years.  Fresh starts and new beginning.  The hope everything can change. Be better.

I am redeemed, You set me free 

So I'll shake off theses heavy chains 

And wipe away every stain now 

I'm not who I used to be 

I am redeemed

Light always overcomes

Today I am fighting sadness. Tiredness. A dash of discouragement.

But do I need to sit here and wallow or can I acknowledge yet still choose to dwell on JOY. Thinking about things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, excellent or praiseworthy. (Philippians 4:8)

Things that make me feel peaceful and happy. Like sitting in the peaceful glow of the Christmas tree with my pup.

And immersing myself in God's Word and prayer.

current mood :/

I'm having one of those days. Tired. Grumpy. Cold. Occasionally flaring into full blown anger.

I'm working on shifting the mood. Listening to KLOVE. Reminding myself circumstances are temporary and manageable.  Listing to good here instead of the list of rants I just deleted. :P

     - Run yesterday! Didn't make it out this morning but tomorrow is another day.

     - Cooking with this kid.  Sunday night we totally bailed on the church Christmas party.  But I don't regret it for a second.  Nights where the whole family is present are rare.  The day had been so busy and I just didn't have it in me to go somewhere else...especially if it meant sacrificing family time.

Mikayla and I cooked dinner together.

She made this super yummy {vegetarian} soup and I made bread sticks. And we all lingered around the table. It felt glorious.

     - Last night's dinner- also a pin win! Honey Lemon Chicken- except I didn't have honey and used brown sugar instead.  It was a little strong on lemon flavor.  Maybe next time I'll only use half a lemon.

     - My friend just brought me a bunch more boxes and bubble wrap.
     - Pampered Chef is sending me a replacement seal for my Quick Cooker- hoping it comes FAST
     - Today's devotional

"Anchor your heart to the character of God.  Your boat will rock.  Moods will come and go.  Situations will fluctuate. But will you be left adrift on the Atlantic of Despair?  No, for you have found contentment that endures the storm." -Anxious for Nothing, Max Lucado pp 190

It’s Friday. Lightly snowing.

My heart is peaceful.

I just want to sit here and bask in His Word.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I can't believe 2018 is nearly over. I was starting to feel a bit discouraged. Today has me feeling like a bit of a failure.

I flipped back to blog entries I wrote last Christmas and into New Years.  The thankfulness and joy started to come back.  As I look back and see what God has done in my life this year.

I've been thinking about my word for next year. I've settled on Redeemed. Why? I feel like this year was a battle. My word was Fierce and let me tell you many days were a fight. But now as year is ending. I feel victory. I look back and my heart is overcome with gratefulness. And I know HE (God) has brought me healing because I can look back at last fall and not feel hurt and sad. I feel strong and thankful. That in and of itself is a miracle. I look at my husband and once again feel safe and confident in his love.  Even if something were to happen there again... I know God is the one who sustains me.  I feel like much of 2018 was rebuilding.  There is still work to be done. But I know God has made us new. I feel like I have been set free. 2019 holds new adventures for us.

So no matter what I did or did not accomplish this year. Whether or not I checked off those resolutions and goals. I am redeemed. I am made new. I am looking forward to the future with anticipation and excitement.

Here are some of the words I have chosen in the past.
2018 Fierce 
2017 Prayer- boy did I learn to pray like never before at the end of 2017
2016 Purpose
2015 Believe 
2014 Confidence
2013 Joy
2012 Gratitude
2011 Grace

December

For Today {December 4, 5 make that 6th, 2018}

Looking out my window SNOW. At the moment though its making me feel cozy, peaceful and Christmasy. =)

I am thinking so many things. Its a bit overwhelming. Moving. Packing. Girl Scouts. Pampered Chef. Running/training. Kid stuff. Church stuff. Christmas stuff. Birthday stuff. So. Much. Stuff.

I am thankful just a few of my list this week =)

• occasional Christmas song on the radio
• cup of warm tea
• friends-giving dinner!
• God's promises
• time with my mister- going through boxes in the basement
• old pics and letters
• decorating our office for Christmas

One of my favorite things our Christmas tree. =)

I am wearing my coffee and Jesus shirt.

I am reading Anxious for Nothing by Max Lucado

I am creating loving making these daily pages lately

I am hoping things keep moving along as planned...

In my kitchen  Taco Tuesday.  We made corn salsa that was delish! And so easy. We also made tortilla bowls for taco salad. So fun! Be sure to check out the LIVE video at Amy's Pampered Kitchen

Post Script 

I'm running a fundraiser in my VIP Group or Order here- www.pamperedchef.com/party/riseabove
We Rise Above the Streets is an organization in Syracuse helping the homeless.

Shared Quote {where you share a favorite quote}

A moment from my day Saturday I cleaned out Chance's crate. We don't use it anymore and basically it was a giant toy box.  We also needed to make room for our Christmas tree.  Chance was not very happy about it.  Here he is sitting next to the keep pile.  I tossed out just as many chewed, broken and gross toys.  He's not spoiled at all. :P

Our tree!

...and one more just because...

just some things...

Hey all- its been awhile.  Life has been a little crazy/stressful. I haven't felt like or thought much about blogging.  But I have definitely seen God's hand in our lives in the past few weeks.

Can you believe at the end of this week we will be in December!  We are getting our Tree on Saturday. =)

Have I mentioned how much I LOVE my Quick Cooker!?!  The other night we made this Garlic Sesame Chicken- it was so good!

 

Last night I made Chicken Noodle Soup (also in the quick cooker).  Although it took forever and a day to come to pressure, because I used frozen broth and half froze chicken.  On the upside I had time to bake some cookies for dessert while we were waiting. =)

Tonight we are having waffle sticks and bacon for dinner- come by Amy's Pampered Kitchen for a LIVE demo ;-) around 6:15 or so

 

Packing, decluttering and reorganizing does have some perks! I found my scissors, my good fabric scissors, that have been missing almost a year.  Sometimes our basement feels like a black hole.  The kicker is- they were exactly where Mikayla said they were.  I had looked and not found them.  In a bag of scrapbook paper, etc, that I had taken to Girl Scouts.  I was pulling the paper out to put in another bag for the move and there they were wedged in the middle of the pile!

Chance and I tried to run yesterday.  It felt really dangerous and we gave up after a mile when we made it back to our house. Sadly. It was super slippery.  We only saw two cars but got way off the road just to be safe.  If I had been alone I might have kept on but Chance was pulling me and I was afraid he was going to make me fall.  I'm a little anxious about keeping up on my training.  The weather so far is not good- its gonna be a long, hard winter I'm afraid.

November mileage so far: 34

Quote from Hungry Runner Girl's blog this morning:

And Maybe your running isn’t going as well as you wish it was right now and you are being hard on yourself—>  Stop that and be proud of what you are doing along with everything else going on in your life… that’s pretty awesome that you are out there no matter what pace/distance/what you used to do.

It's so easy for me to get frustrated and to not feel like a "real runner".  But this gives gives me hope. =) Perhaps I will be visiting my parents more so I can run on their treadmill this winter.

Yesterday I finished this book-  It was an easy, encouraging read.  I highly recommend.

Jesus calling today- coupled with She Reads Truth- Give Thanks in Anxiety. It calmed my spirit and soothed my soul.

I keep finding myself humming/singing this song today...

Syracuse Half! 2018 Recap!

Spoiler alert- it was AWESOME!

I signed up for this race way back in the spring- I think even the day registration opened.  Determined to have vindication on my race experience last year and to train my heart out and crush this thing.  Well- training didn't go as I planned.  For no other reason than I was a huge slacker and just didn't commit fully.  So I was a little trepidatious as this race approached, but I knew I could finish. Probably not as fast as I wanted to, but I would finish. My sister was still running so I went through with it.

Friday as quitting time approached I started to get really excited about the race.  Just something about race weekend that thrills me.  I went right after work to pick up my race packet.

Saturday afternoon I spent sometime with Laura at our parents house and we talked ourselves up.  Got more excited. Set goals. Decided what and how many layers to wear.  Saturday night I laid out my clothes. Sue's Crew T's in honor of our aunt Sue.

Sunday morning I drove to my sister's house before the sun came up so we could drive to the race together.

Hanging out, keeping warm int he convention center before the start.

We stayed in as long as possible before heading out to the start line.  We meandered out and slid into the corral.  Laura look around and said- "I think we need to move back, we're up too far." We walked back a bit until she said- "this feels right." As we stood there laughing and joking and listening the banter around us- we realized yup- these were our people! :P  Much less serious about the course and just out to do their best and survive this thing :-D  Though the lady in front of us heard us joking and turned around saying, we "looked professional".  Not at all but thank you! 

At the start line. We were pretty excited it was snowing a little. I love running in the snow. Always feels magical.

About half a mile in I realized laughing that I never started my watch.  So my watch data is around half a mile short. But half a mile difference was easy enough math, even for me, to figure out my rough mileage as I trotted along.

Laura stayed with me through mile 1 and then took off to chase her own goal.  I happily waved her off, stating I was good! And I was!  I seriously loved this race! I had a blast, I felt strong and capable.

The first 2-3, maybe even four miles my glasses kept fogging up from the snow. I stepped in a puddle pretty early on (because of my impaired vision from fogged up glasses.)  So my feet were soaked and cold the majority of the run.

I think I took this picture around mile 4 attempting to show the snow in the air.  But you can't really see it.

I signed up for text alerts on Laura's run once I knew we wouldn't be together.  I was pumped to get texts when she crossed each check point and see she was on target for hitting her goal!

I wrote on my wrist to help me if I got discouraged. I thought about Sue a lot. I thought about how different my life is from last year. How good my God is. I thought about how full and thankful my heart was.  How blessed I felt to be out there running.

When I needed a push I just kept repeating to myself. Strong. Powerful. Sue's Crew. You got this. Run. Strong. 

I fueled with dinosaur fruit snacks. 😂 I ate a pack around mile 6 and again at mile 9.  I really think they helped. Also hit every.water.stop. I did pass on the one where spectators were handing out beer though :P

This was one of my favorite and prettiest parts of the course. Just before mile 10. =)

 

I made sure to take a selfie at mile 10 because that was one of the points I actually enjoyed last year. Laura too a pic of me last year hitting the sign. =D

Miles 11 and 12 were the hardest.  I remember hitting mile 11 and being like just over two left.  That's your easy, every day go to run.  You can do this! 

I slowed down considerably, I walked more than I did in the rest of the race probably.  If I could've kept up my pace maybe I would have hit my goal.  But I feel like I did my best. The best I could yesterday. I genuinely enjoyed the whole half marathon. I felt so amazing at the end. Sore for sure.  But so unbelievably HAPPY!! I was overjoyed.  At one point I was beginning to waver and a lady passed me and said something to the effect of, "Great job! You look strong!" It was just what I needed and gave the boost I needed to hold my head high and keep truckin' on. Keep moving forward.  Even when I was starting to fade I told myself, keep moving forward. That's all you have to do.

Shortly before I hit mile 13, nearing the finish line my sister popped up again and ran with me a little bit.  Helped me pick up the pace.

It felt awesome hearing my name announced as I approached the finish line.  

  

I did it! And I could not be prouder!

Pancake breakfast! YUM! So much better than last year... or maybe it was me. =)

The tiny Dunkin' cups crack me up.  I sure did enjoy that thimbleful of coffee the ride home though.

And let me tell you a hot shower never felt so good!

<3 This awesome guy even made dinner. <3

OK so here are the official results.  I wasn't sure if I wanted to post them. Not my best time. In fact my slowest Half to date. But an awesome experience.  

And you know what... I did it! I finished! And of that I am proud!  One thing I am super proud of is not getting down on myself.  The whole time- I knew I was doing the best I could in that moment and I told myself I was rocking it. For me this is huge! I always end up berating myself for not doing better. But today I am nothing but proud. Do I wish I had trained better and been more consistent- sure.  But I am happy and proud of this run. Ready to look forward to the next one.  This one definitely left me hungry for more!

Some goals for the coming year-

• Successfully complete a half marathon training plan
• Get under 2:45 in a half and then work down to sub 2:30
• Get my pace back down in the 11's consistently on everyday runs
• Get to the point where 3 miles could be my easy every day run
• Be grateful for each day I am alive and able to be out there RUNNING