:)

I am getting really excited about the race. I am getting such a thrill out of seeing my running time, distance and endurance getting better each day.

Today I actually RAN for a mile and half. Like RAN, for real the whole thing! This is huge to me. To think a few short weeks ago I could not even run a full minute without losing my breath, feeling like I could keel over at any second.

Yesterday as I was running I was thinking a little bit about my next goal.  I definitely want to keep it up.  I am little worried that maybe I will feel a little let down after this race is done.  Like, Well, I did it! Now what??  I am thinking about maybe finding another race to do in the fall, (closer to home!)  And in the spring my Bible Study girls are talking about doing the Breast Cancer Race for the Cure.  I am kinda nervous about changing seasons and wondering if I can keep it up as days get shorter and colder.  But I guess I will just keep going one step, one run at time and not worry about the future just yet.  As long as I run today, tomorrow will worry about itself.

Running makes me so happy.  This morning I seriously thought about staying in bed.  I was feeling stuffy, headachey and my bed was so warm and comfy.  Finally I pulled myself from beneath the warm covers and stumbled to the kitchen.  Getting a glass of water, thinking about calling my sister to give her a wake up call ;P When she text me first saying she was headed out for her run! Thanks Laur! Gave me the push I needed. :D Got dressed out on my shoes and walked out the door.  I felt better almost instantly.  The cool, fresh air, the beautiful morning sky.  I felt strong, accomplished, moderately skinny, powerful.

Tonight I think I am going to pick up new new running shoes! I am ridiculously excited about this.  Here are the three pair I am considering:

I Can Do IT!

Today for the first time I actually confidently feel like maybe I can do this 5k thing!

My sister scared me a little bit last night as we were chatting at the mall.  "Yeah, we won't be stopping." She said.  "I won't leave you, I will stick right with you.  But we aren't stopping."  I knew this in my head.  My goal is to RUN the 5k.  But still to hear it out loud was a little daunting.

This morning I argued with myself for a good half hour before I finally laced up my shoes and headed out.  I don't know why its so hard to walk out that door.  I have yet to regret it, and I am always glad I went.  Sometimes like today I even enjoy it.

Today was my shortest run time wise.  In fact I almost feel like I didn't run long enough.  But I did do over a mile and half.  And I do need time to get cleaned up and out the door to work.  But here is the exciting thing.  I ran almost the whole thing.  The couple breaks I took were extremely brief and I definitely ran for my longest stint at a time.  I recorded my fastest mile and am so proud to have gotten below the 12 minute mark. I am not sure but it was almost half that I ran without a break so it was roughly .75 miles or more...which seems like nothing when I think 3 weeks from tomorrow I have to do over 3 miles.  But hey, let me revel in this small victory. :D

so hard

This mornings run was so hard.  I had trouble even getting out of bed.  But I went. (Mostly because I had an email from Eric that commented there were 24 more training days.)!!! I better not squander today then.  I feel far from ready.

But the point is I DID run today.  It was so hard.  I think I really am just that tired, the past couple days have been long and hard.  I hate having to work both jobs in one day, and even worse two days in a row.  I don't know how my mister does it day after day after day.  But I did I survived. And I am thankful that today I only have to work one job.  I can spend the rest of my afternoon and evening with my kids. <3

Trying to focus on the good.  To be thankful.  Go moment by moment and not be overwhelmed.

• I only have to work at the church today
• After today the VBS postcards will be finished! YES!
• It's PIZZA nite
• I recorded my fastest mile today
• A wonderful friend to take care of my kids while I am at work
• 23 more days and I will see my cousins!
• clear blue sky
• warm sunshine

One Step at a Time

I so didn't want to run today.  I seriously considered quitting running all together.  Running a 5k isn't that important.  Who needs to be healthy anyway... :-P

Lies.  All of them.

If I don't run, I get seriously torqued with myself.  Yesterday I forgot to set my alarm and didn't have time to go for a run in the morning.  The 96 degrees temps and impending storms deterred me in the evening.

This morning I hauled my lazy but out of bed...and all the way to the couch.  Arguing with myself whether it was worth it or not.  I finally convinced myself I needed to just go.  And go NOW or risk not having time before work.  So go I did.  And of course like every other time I was happy I did pretty much the second my feet hit the pavement. 

Here are the positives for today:

1. I went out for a run even though I really didn't WANT to.
2. The beautiful cool morning after the heat yesterday
3. Seeing a neighbor with her dog, being able to make eye contact, wave and gasp "Hi." Instead of being mortified someone "saw me running" ;P
4. Making myself keeping running to my goal even when I wanted to stop.
5. Hitting 2 miles!  I had to pass my house and go a little farther to hit it but I did! :D
6. Hearing my iPod congratulate my on my "longest workout yet"!

And today I am only posting positives ;)

time to up my game ;P

So I looked at the Couch to 5k plan last night and realized  I am supposed to be running way more than I am :( I am probably a week behind at best.

To date my longest constant running was running through the whole "God's Not Dead" song.  That 4:18 minutes.  Am I really going to be ready to run a complete 5K in four more weeks :-/

I really want to upgrade my phone so among other things I can have the app that tells me when to walk and when to run.  Silly has it seems, this would help me immensely; I think.

Today I am vacillating between rugged determination and complete frustration and discouragement.

I am trying to swing back to the rugged determination.

I can. I can. I can. I will.

I did go a bit farther today.  I wanted to bump it up to 2 miles :/ Imagine my chagrin when I got to my front steps, hit end workout and realized I had gone 1.9.  Wha??? Really... But hey I did go father.  Ran MORE.  Didn't Die.  And tomorrow is another run. :D

I CAN do all things through Christ who gives me strength.  Philippians 4:13

Hot, sweaty, red faced & feeling semi accomplished ;P

My fluffy would be running buddy. Oh how I wish my dog could run with me...so does he. But at 14 years old, deaf and mostly blind he can barely walk with me let alone run. He waits eagerly for my return and then accompanies me to cool down in the driveway and yard.

Hannah's Room

Here's what Hannah and I did today...

Before:





After:

all I can do is say THANKYOU...

Today I am thankful my heart is overflowing.

I had a great night out with my girls last night.  We went to one of our local churches for a little coffeehouse event.  My friend invited me.  I almost didn't go.  She messaged me to say she thought the girls and I would really enjoy it.  I checked out the singer's website and immediately loved her music.  I tried to get a few of my girlfriends to go but alas they all had other plans.  Part of me wanted to bail.  Going to a different church, with hardly anyone I knew.  Yikes, that would be weird and awkward.  I was actually nervous driving there.  But go we did and it was such a blessing.  We laughed, and chatted, enjoyed frozen coffee drinks, smoothies and desserts.  Hannah did a fair job of sampling them all.

The singer was Haily Wiggins.  She was adorable and inspirational and I  love her.  I hope someday we will hear her songs on KLOVE.  We purchased her CD and listened to it on the drive home, already its a fav. Check her out.

I have been struggling with my running this week.  Feeling like fraud and a failure.  I texted my sister yesterday at work to tell her I was going to run when I got  home.  I figured if I told her I would- I would have the motivation to actually go and I did. When I got back I text her to say I was defiantly getting up in the morning to run.  There were far to many people about in the afternoon.

It was a battle to get out the door this morning, even walking out the door I was inwardly rebelling.  I don't want to! I don't really want to be a runner! I want to quit!  But I am oh so glad I did.  I almost felt like a "real runner" again.  I enjoyed my run, the peaceful cool morning air.  I enjoyed the sense of accomplishment when I returned even more. :) I still have a long way to go as far as strength and endurance go.  And 6 weeks to do it :/  But I am stopping the negative dialog... I CAN do THIS! And I shall.

I ended my run by pacing in the driveway to this song this morning.  I love it, it is my favorite...today anyway. ;-)

fail.

This morning feels like a fail.  I am sad, dejected and trying hard not to feel defeated.  I can't even call this mornings "run" a run...it was more like a walk, and not even a brisk walk, with a few random but brief running spurts.

Maybe I will run again tonight and make up for it.

Overcomer!

Isn't it funny how you can go to bed feeling so thankful and blessed and then wake up feeling so alone and dejected.  This was my yesterday.  But I am thankful God didn't leave me there. :) I am thankful that He looks out for us.  Puts just the right things into our path, to lift our spirit.

I read my email devo that was naturally spot on, talking about A Beautiful Circle.  That we need to be mindful of what we are thinking, of the things we put into our minds.  The attitudes we maintain.  The more we focus on the things of God, the more beautiful things come our of our minds...and our mouths.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” (Proverbs 4:23)

Later on FB I saw this post by Mandissa regarding her "Overcomer"song.  It started out by saying:

"You're an Overcomer!

Do you believe that? That you’re an overcomer? That you have everything you need to come out of this fight victoriously? That the battle has already been won? "

I don't feel like an overcomer.  In fact I felt like I was back in the pit.  Completely overwhelmed.   But I know God is with me.  He is faithful and He is seeing me through, I merely needed to shift my focus from the worries back to His face.   I say merely but we all know that is easier said then done.  But possible!  Nothing is impossible with God.
In her post Mandissa went on to talk about Gideon.  Referenceing the same verses we talked about at Bible Study last week.  How God called Gideon "mighty".  As HE saw him, not as Gideon saw himself.  That God will give us strength and see us through.  Moment by moment, day by day.

This morning right about when I got to church I recieved a txt message from a friend urging me to read the verses she had read in her devo time this morning.  How thankful I am for friends like this, who stop and take the time to share scripture, pray and encourage.

 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.  For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come,  nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8:37-39 NKJV

thankful

I am so thankful. My heart is full. Thursday. The 4th of July. The birthday of our wonderful country.

I planned a little get together at my house with my parents and my sister and her boyfriend. My mister was out of town... camping...whatever ;P

Early afternoon I ended up inviting my two besties and their families. Plans change, plans fell through. I am just happy that these two families who have become family were able to join us. We all had a great time.   We sat around in the yard.  Picnicking.  Every so often shifting our chairs has the shade slowly moved across the back yard.  The kids splashed and played and giggled in the wading pool. We must have more evenings like this.  It was one of the best. <3

Friday we headed down to PA to visit Grammy and Pa.  I was so happy to hug my Pa again.  To hear his voice.  To see him patting Hannah's head.

It was great seeing a few of my cousins.  To chat and laugh and realize next time we are down will be for our run in less than 7 weeks! To get inspired and be encouraged.  To go on a long walk with Mom, to talk and share.  For time with Hannah, helping her read.  Sitting on the swing; remembering when all 9 cousins used to pile on. Watching Mikayla climb trees.  Going out on Uncle Bob's boat.  Sitting around the table with family.













I am thankful for time chatting with my cousin Eric.  {The one who casually mentioned the race to my sister and I just about a month ago.}  We laughed and joked and he left me feeling like I could really do this, that I am not a fraud, that I will be able to run.  And do my best.  I keep joking that my goal is just to not come in dead last.

This morning I was so excited to beat my best running time.  Telling myself I can do this.  I am a runner.  I will run in August.  My first 5K... already thinking about what I will do next.