End of the Month Catch Up!

I feel a lot like this today! I wish I was snuggled up with these two right now getting lost in my current read. But alas I am not.

This October I feel has been a good one. 

The kids carved pumpkins at our house, it made my heart happy. Even though they (the pumpkins, not the kids!) are now melting and rotting on our front steps :P

Ryan turned 22! Everyone was here for his birthday dinner- happy, happy heart.

The next day we celebrated our family October birthdays- 7 in all! 

This past Saturday we participated in the Trunk or Treat at our church.  This event now always fills my heart with such joy. And feels like a testimony to hope... you see the past three years, Rhett and I have done a trunk together.  But the first year our church did trunk or treat was 2017 and it was the day he told me he was leaving me. I remember that day through the lens of a very broken heart- so now doing it together...ah my heart overflows. 💖😭  God. Is. Good. 

I'm so thankful our pastors have a sense of humor and are good sports.

a dinosaur nephew

I did some running but not as much as I hoped. I'm having a hard time getting into a groove.  Changing seasons always throws me off, plus I was down with a cold for a bit. Only 10.7 miles in the whole month.

We found out our nephew and his girlfriend are expecting a baby in June. The first baby in the next generation.  Mind blowing! 

Tomorrow starts November and I am happy to put October behind me, as much as I love the golden fall weather. It is fraught with triggers and bad feelings. But I am slowly finding healing. I am now taking the Healing Journey class at my church. Last night was week 7 and we had to share our stories. *anxiety* It took me about three weeks to get it all down the way I wanted. Many tears and revisions.  I felt I had to share it with my husband first as obviously, my story intertwines with his.  This caused me the most angst and anxiety. I didn't want to share anything that would upset him or cause further strife in our marriage. Around our anniversary this year, we had shared some things and reconnected a little making me feel slightly more confident in sharing with him, but it didn't make it any less scary.  I was a whole hot mess, crying through most of it.

 His response was more than I could have ever imagined. He was so gracious and affirming and encouraging.  Giving me his blessing to share anything I needed to to find healing.  It felt unbelievably freeing to read my story to him.  And for him to affirm that though our story is rough in places its far from over, we will continue healing, we will make our marriage stronger and we will make the next 25 years far better!

In addition to the martial stuff, I have some church hurt stemming from the pastoral transition a couple years back, some friend hurts, some momming hurts and fear and sadness over the looming empty nest in our future.  There's a lot. But I can honestly say I am excited to see what God does in this season and what His future holds for me.

Things I am looking forward to in November... our sister coffee date on Saturday! Stay tuned ;) 

Starting the making your home a haven study on Monday- I love this study every year.  The study guide is on amazon and there's still time to get in on it.  (I don't get anything from this endorsement- I just love it that much!) You can also follow along without having the guide, on the WomenLivingWell blog.

Thursday I have off to spend with my mom- a lunch date I gave her for her birthday. The next Saturday plans are in the works for a friend date. Running the Turkey Trot 5K on Thanksgiving morning with Mikayla and just Thanksgiving in general.  It's my favorite! This year I took Black Friday off too, so I'm looking forward to a long Thanksgiving weekend.

So happy end of October! Bring on Thanksgiving season. 

22 years...

 

Tuesday was our 22nd wedding anniversary...

Saturday we went out to breakfast at one of our favorite diners and then headed out to Old Forge to enjoy the day.  We took a ride on the scenic chair lift.  The views were spectacular- even if the leaves were a little past peak.

I am so thankful for this beautiful day and time with Rhett. <3 God is good.

Meet Me at the Museum *Book Review*

Book 10 of 2019.  Meet Me at the Me Museum by Anne Youngson.  

I came across this book on the WSIRN Podcast. It is an epistolary novel.  I learned that new term/genre from the podcast. That is, a story of  letters.  In this case between a farm wife in England, Tina and a museum curator, Anders in Denmark.  Tina starts by writing an old professor about a mummified bog man she learned about back in her school days. The professor has passed away, Anders answers her letter and they begin corresponding. They both are suffering from loss and draw a measure of comfort from one another. As the letters continue you can see their affection for one another growing. 

This again brought up some issues for me regarding marriage/trust/boundaries.  It bothered me a bit that she was married yet (although "only" via letter) was developing an intimate friendship/relationship with another man. Where is the line- was she crossing it? My personal feeling is yes.  She had recently lost her best friend, and I get she was trying to fill that void. Perhaps the marriage wasn't all she desired or needed. I got the impression that she and her husband barely conversed. And that made me sad. Perhaps I am reading to much into a fictional person, in a fictional book, that was merely meant to entertain me. Maybe I'm too old fashioned. Stories about infidelity make me sad. Marriage is hard, but should be treasured and protected and nurtured. I'm sad for Tina that she seemed to feel her life was passing her by. I'm sad that she was so lonely she had to reach out to a stranger to find understanding, comfort and companionship.

In spite of all that- I found it a sweet, slow moving story that offers hope and new life and new beginnings.  It left me feeling somewhat melancholy yet still hopeful.

On a bit of a side note- after hearing the term epistolary novel, I tried to recall if I have ever read one before. Immediately Dear Mr Henshaw came to mind.  I read it in class in elementary school 4th or 5th grade? I don't remember which. And truthfully I don't recall too much about it other than it had to do with letters. Perhaps I'll pick it up at the library. Do you ever re-read books you read as a kid now that you are grown? 

Fear is a LIAR

This morning I woke up tired. My legs were sore. I wanted to stay in bed. I reached for my phone to check the weather and realized it was supposed to be raining all morning. Chance hates the rain. Maybe it was a good day for a "rest day".  I got up to go the bathroom and realized it was indeed raining. I let Chance out, he happily went back to snoozing on the couch given the dreary weather. I headed back to bed hoping to sleep for another half hour or so.

That's when the anxiety and fear began to settle in my heart. Get up, make your coffee, spend the extra time with God. Is what I heard, so I did.

It wasn't long before God's peace began to seep back into my soul. He is with me. I am loved. He is at work in my life and in my marriage.  Nothing is impossible with God.  Prayer is indeed powerful and effective. My heart is full, thankful, hopeful.

Later when I checked my email I saw more confirmation of God's Truth. 💗  He is listening and He cares.

Monday night Hannah and I went to a vegetarian cooking demo at the library. It was billed as a "class" and we both expected it to be more hands on. But we still enjoyed it and hope to do it again. We were introduced to Jackfruit. We have seen the whole fruit at the store- it is huge and scary looking. Very intimidating. But they used canned, which is far more do-able. They made pulled "pork" (jackfruit) sliders and they were delish!



It is basically the jackfruit shredded up, seasoned with 21 seasoning salute (from trader joe's) and then mixed with bbq sauce and heated through.  I haven't been a huge fan of a lot of vegetarian dishes but this was great!

The salad was Healthy 8 Chopped Veggie Mix and Trader Joe's Green Goddess dressing.  Also yummy. =)

Hannah and I were perusing Pinterest looking up more recipes for Jackfruit before we even left the library.

And just because... Dog. :-)

The battle

Last week, Friday maybe, I was reading and this page really struck me. I was growing tired and weary.  I was losing hope- even though I had pledged to be in this for the long haul.  What's the point I wondered, then God gave me this very real image... reminding me the battle is real. And not easily won. What would happen if I gave up. I will not let the darkness win. I will not be defeated.

From Max Lucado's book, You'll Get Through This

Make no mistake there is a battle going on in the spiritual realm.  I love this picture I found on pinterest of Jesus pushing back the darkness.


I am NOT ALONE!

My arsenal... God's WORD. PRAYER. There is nothing stronger. And HIS WORD WILL PREVAIL.


I will never stop fighting for what is mine.

Anniversary Edition

For Today {October 6, 2016} 18 years ago I married the love of my life.  What a ride its been.

Linked up with the Simple Woman's Daybook

Looking out my window it looks like an inviting Fall day

I am thinking about these two crazy kids, they didn't have a clue what they were getting into.

My Junior Prom

I am thankful for 18 years with my husband. We have definitely had our hard times. A few times I didn't know if we'd make it. The hardest time in our marriage came just after one of our anniversaries. Sometimes I still struggle with those wounds and memories.  But God reminds me He can make all things new. I try to keep my focus on the now. And to remember the good, there was a lot of good too.  

One of my favorite things time with my husband. I am looking forward to spending the day with him on Saturday. We don't get nearly enough time together.

I am hoping that despite all odds, we'll have good weather on Saturday.

In my garden  Anniversary flowers delivered to work. Caused quite a stir, we don't get a lot of excitement around here :P

Board room

Pinned: Love

Source: rebekamhallberg.com

Post Script a little video I made a few years back...

Shared Quote from our Vow Renewal 2009

Rhett's:
There's a saying among the Marines that says "Whatever doesn't kill us --makes us stronger."  We've been through some very tough times-- and yet here we are, standing in front of our friends and family dedicating ourselves again to one another and to the Lord after almost 11 years of marriage.  In the movie Fireproof it was said that "fireproof doesn't mean that the fire won't come-- but that will will be able to withstand it when the fire does come.' We've been through the fire.  But instead of succumbing to the heat and pressure-- we like gold when it is refined-- all of its impurities are burned away and the gold shines brighter and bonds stronger.  When we first started out I though that love was simply a feeling.  Over the last 11 years and especially the last 4 I've learned that love is an act.  Paul says in the book of Ephesians that Husbands ought to love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her.  From this day forward I vow to love you in exactly that way.  In a way that will make you proud to say I am your husband, in a way that our 3 children can use as an example for their future relationships.  And in a way that will put a smile upon our Lord and savior's face.  I pledge to you now that when the fire comes again-- that I will be standing beside you-- holding your hand like I did when we first met at Lake Champion.  I love you-- and will always love you for as long as my heart still beats.

Mine (much shorter but just as heartfelt):
Nearly eleven years ago I stood by your side promising to be your wife.  Though that promise wavered and was strained it was not broken.  Today I pledge anew my faithfulness, my love and my devotion to honor and cherish you all the days of my life.  To walk beside you no matter where the road leads us.

A moment from my day

Wedding Day

I just love him--- like a ridiculous crazy amount

My parents anniversary party -  2008

Closing Notes:

Marriage is hard. As I said previously, we've had our share of rocky roads. I'm thankful we have made it through 18 years thus far...hopefully with many, many more still on the horizon.  I'm thankful for the legacy before me.  My parents just celebrated their 38th wedding anniversary.  Both set of my grandparents remained married for a lifetime. 60 and 59 years respectively. Something to strive for...

Cherish

This weekend was beyond glorious. My mister and I headed to North Carolina for a wedding. 4 glorious days. Just the two of us. It was amazing.

Friday was mostly spent traveling. A solid 12 hours to travel from upstate Ny to Lexington, NC. 

We were so happy to get to the hotel around 8 pm. We ordered pizza. Stopped at the grocery store for water and other beverages. Laughed hysterically when we made it to the pizza place and realized it was next door to a grocery store. Maybe we'd just been in the car too long. :-P

Saturday morning after our sub-par hotel breakfast we headed out looking for something fun to do.

We went to the Richard Childress Racing Museum. We aren't exactly big racing fans but in truth there weren't a lot of options nearby. I didn't much care what we did. I was just happy to be with my husband. To spend some actual time with him. We got to the museum about 5 minutes before it opened. There were a couple other cars waiting in the lot. It looked small and unimpressive from the outside. This should kill about ten minutes we thought.

It turned out to be rather interesting we spent an hour or so walking though. Again at the risk of sounding like a lovesick teenager- I was just happy to be with him. 

I got a particular kick out of seeing the headlight stickers on the race cars. It reminded me of the movie Cars when they make fun of Lightening McQueen for not having real headlights and called him "stickers". Haha! My only reference to car racing. Sorry to any true racing fans.

I think this old car was my personal favorite-

From there we headed to a little store called The Candy Factory. It was really cute. We bought ourselves a big bag of assorted Jelly Bellies (my weakness) and huge jawbreaker/lollipops to take home to the kids. They also had a lot of nostalgic and antique-y items.

Rhett took my picture next to the pig outside the door- as we walked up and down the street we found several others he also took my picture by (but they are all on his phone currently).

Nearby was also this cute little coffee shop. He got me a caramel iced blender (coffee) which made up for the crappy hotel coffee that morning. We sat there enjoying our beverages. I looked around thinking this would be my dream. Having a little eclectic coffee shop, baking up scones and muffins...

The barista was quirky and funny and left us chuckling.

We hit up a local BBQ joint for lunch. Delicious.

Spent the afternoon at a quaint little vineyard. We did a tasting, wandered down one of the rows of grapes. Then ordered a glass of our favorite wine from the tasting.

We got a kick out of this little pink bus, which as it turns out was a food truck serving up French food.

It was so quiet and peaceful. I could have sat there all afternoon sipping wine with my husband. But we headed back to the hotel to relax before dinner.

We ended up going to a Mexican restaurant for dinner. Rhett harassed me for eating most of our first basket of chips and salsa. ;-) I guess I was hungrier than I thought. I had Baja Tacos that were so yummy! He had pork tacos.

Later on we met up with his friend (and other wedding guests) for drinks. We were mostly wallflowers listening to conversations around us. At one point about New York City despite us saying repeatedly Upstate New York. I have never even really been to New York City. There was a fellow upstate-er to understand and comiserate with. Rhett also engaged in some manly football talk.

Sunday morning deciding we had exhausted all the fun things to do in town we headed to the North Carolina Zoo- about an hour's drive away. It was super crowded but a really nice zoo.

The lions always my personal favorite.

That evening it was time for the "main event"- the reason for our little get away in the first place. Greg and Danielle's wedding. It was held outdoors at Childress Vineyards. Beautiful ceremony. Their vows touching and poignant. I loved that instead of the traditional unity candle type thing they did this little planting ceremony. They poured soil into a little dish containing succulents. Such a wonderful visualization of their marriage. Something that will grow roots, flourish yet needs tended and nurtured. Their favor was also succulents. I loved it! I can't wait to nestle our two little plants in a dish. A visual reminder of the wedding. This lovely couple, who I honestly wish I truely knew. A reminder to pray and nurture my own marriage and home.

It was a beautiful wedding and evening. No place I would rather be than sitting right there by my husband's side. We always enjoy the anniversary dance. Hard to believe it's getting close to 20 years we have been married. Next month will be 18 years. Funny how it can seem like a lifetime and moment at the same time.

I'm sappy and romantic. I love weddings. I'm fiercely thankful for my husband, for all that we have shared over the past 20 years we have been a couple. The good and the bad which has made us who we are today. I wouldn't trade a moment. Now we are on our way home. Back to real life. But with renewed determination to love and cherish him and nurture our marriage everyday, no matter what comes our way.