End of the Month Catch Up!

I feel a lot like this today! I wish I was snuggled up with these two right now getting lost in my current read. But alas I am not.

This October I feel has been a good one. 

The kids carved pumpkins at our house, it made my heart happy. Even though they (the pumpkins, not the kids!) are now melting and rotting on our front steps :P

Ryan turned 22! Everyone was here for his birthday dinner- happy, happy heart.

The next day we celebrated our family October birthdays- 7 in all! 

This past Saturday we participated in the Trunk or Treat at our church.  This event now always fills my heart with such joy. And feels like a testimony to hope... you see the past three years, Rhett and I have done a trunk together.  But the first year our church did trunk or treat was 2017 and it was the day he told me he was leaving me. I remember that day through the lens of a very broken heart- so now doing it together...ah my heart overflows. 💖😭  God. Is. Good. 

I'm so thankful our pastors have a sense of humor and are good sports.

a dinosaur nephew

I did some running but not as much as I hoped. I'm having a hard time getting into a groove.  Changing seasons always throws me off, plus I was down with a cold for a bit. Only 10.7 miles in the whole month.

We found out our nephew and his girlfriend are expecting a baby in June. The first baby in the next generation.  Mind blowing! 

Tomorrow starts November and I am happy to put October behind me, as much as I love the golden fall weather. It is fraught with triggers and bad feelings. But I am slowly finding healing. I am now taking the Healing Journey class at my church. Last night was week 7 and we had to share our stories. *anxiety* It took me about three weeks to get it all down the way I wanted. Many tears and revisions.  I felt I had to share it with my husband first as obviously, my story intertwines with his.  This caused me the most angst and anxiety. I didn't want to share anything that would upset him or cause further strife in our marriage. Around our anniversary this year, we had shared some things and reconnected a little making me feel slightly more confident in sharing with him, but it didn't make it any less scary.  I was a whole hot mess, crying through most of it.

 His response was more than I could have ever imagined. He was so gracious and affirming and encouraging.  Giving me his blessing to share anything I needed to to find healing.  It felt unbelievably freeing to read my story to him.  And for him to affirm that though our story is rough in places its far from over, we will continue healing, we will make our marriage stronger and we will make the next 25 years far better!

In addition to the martial stuff, I have some church hurt stemming from the pastoral transition a couple years back, some friend hurts, some momming hurts and fear and sadness over the looming empty nest in our future.  There's a lot. But I can honestly say I am excited to see what God does in this season and what His future holds for me.

Things I am looking forward to in November... our sister coffee date on Saturday! Stay tuned ;) 

Starting the making your home a haven study on Monday- I love this study every year.  The study guide is on amazon and there's still time to get in on it.  (I don't get anything from this endorsement- I just love it that much!) You can also follow along without having the guide, on the WomenLivingWell blog.

Thursday I have off to spend with my mom- a lunch date I gave her for her birthday. The next Saturday plans are in the works for a friend date. Running the Turkey Trot 5K on Thanksgiving morning with Mikayla and just Thanksgiving in general.  It's my favorite! This year I took Black Friday off too, so I'm looking forward to a long Thanksgiving weekend.

So happy end of October! Bring on Thanksgiving season. 

weekending

I had a mostly great weekend. My heart feels full to over flowing. I don't have any pictures really to show for it but I guess that just means I was enjoying the moments.

Friday afterwork Hannah and I headed to get our hair cut, getting rid of the access length we had grown out for fancy wedding hair.  We then did some school shopping and hit up the local Mexican restaurant for dinner.  It was fun to have some quality time to catch up with my girl.

Saturday she had to work most of the day.  The dogs and I took a long morning ramble through the park. Had a coffee date with my best friend. Even though in a snap moment decision I had a caramel apple cider instead which I kind of regretted but it was also delicious- just didn't hit the same as coffee. Obviously. (I made myself a coldbrew when I got home). We had a nice little chat and left when the shop was closing. We spontaneously decided to sign up for a yoga class Monday night and I am super excited about it!

Church yesterday felt like an absolute gift. I can't even describe.  My best friend was there. Its been a rough summer and every time I get to see her beautiful face and give her a big hug it feels like a gift. It made me over the top happy to see her back at church.

Sunday school starts up next Sunday! I realized in bed Saturday night that next Sunday is September 1! I seriously thought it was farther away! But I got my new ss books and I am so excited to start class again.  My class is K-2 this year and looks like it will be all girls with the exception of my one kindergartener almost youngest nephew.  Which is a switch because my class has been boy heavy for the past several years. 

2/3rd's of the kids were home for dinner, and there partners which made my heart so happy. I had to run up to Mikayla's to walk the dog (as she and Dylan were off on another adventure for the day).  I was pleasantly surprised to see Ryan's car still there when I returned. All 4 kids were sitting around the kitchen table having just finished a game of dutch blitz. They wanted to go out for ice cream I was informed but waited for me to get back so we could all go. And we did. 💖

This song has been playing on repeat in my heart. Feel appropriate for here...

60th Anniversary

I have been having a lot complicated feelings about my church for the past couple years.  Change is so hard for me and this transition time has been rough.  Also in that two years, two of my children have stopped attending regularly or at all.  And that is so hard. 💔

There have been good things too, don't get me wrong.  But my heart still mourns people and dear friends who have left. Although my heart is joyful over new friends who have come. I guess its like that old Girl Scout song... make new friends but keep the old... one is silver and the other gold....

If I am honest, I was dreading this day. I was not on board with this whole anniversary celebration.  I wasn't sure I wanted any part of it. Why? Let's just leave it at there's been a lot of hard lately.

I was over joyed though to learn my sister and her boys were coming and my son was coming. 

At 9 o'clock there was a Church History lesson- which sounds dry and boring but it was a delight. Funny and nostalgic, I enjoyed every second. The Nemitz family has a long legacy at Alive Wesleyan Church.  My grandparents were part of the original charter members that literally broke ground and built our church. 

In the worship service my Dad was honored for his legacy of prayer leadership.  I, for one am so thankful for my Dad and his prayers through the years.

Here is a link to the worship service.

This picture makes my heart explode with happiness. Miss Kim was the children's ministry leader when my kids were small. She has since moved away and has another fruitful ministry but it is always a Delight when she is back "home" to visit. Crazy that the littles she used to love on now tower over her.

Later in the afternoon my mother gave her testimony as well.  Emotional and heartfelt, I'm proud to call her MOM. 💖

Alive felt like home again and my heart was overflowing. I had conversations that gave me hope for the future. I can not even express how much joy it gave me to share this day with my sister and my two youngest children, also friends, old and new.  I know my grandparents would enjoyed this day so much. 

I can honestly once again say I am excited for the things happening at Alive Wesleyan Church.  The love I have for this body of believers, the outpouring of love from this body of believers. There are no words.  It's not a perfect church, but what church full of humans is? Its home though, its family and its where I belong.  

I encourage you to find a place to belong; when you do get involved. It doesn't become home by just sitting in the chairs every Sunday and going home.  Find your place to serve. It will fill your heart, I guarantee.

Inspired *book review*

While I was sewing this weekend I finished listening to this audiobook- Inspired by Rachel Held Evans.

I find this book troubling, but that's one of the reasons I read it.  I want to know about people who are different than me, think different than me, believe different from me, live different from me... I enjoyed listening to Rachel read her book, it is thought provoking and in so many ways I share parts of her story.  Why was I drawn to Rachel's work? I wanted to know what makes someone walk away from church, particularly someone who it seems was somewhat like me...

I was raised in a conservative Christian home. I don't remember a time my family did not attend church.  When I was small my dad pastored a church in Pennsylvania.  I love the Bible and Jesus with all my heart.  As I grew up and began my own family church/God/faith were central.  There was never a time I wandered or strayed from my faith.  The weeks we are not in church are few and far between.

Sometime in her young adult life Rachel (is it ok to call her Rachel, Ms Evans... I don't know.) Anyway- at some point she started questioning things.  I do not think this is a bad thing. Questions are how we learn how we grow.  But her questions tore her faith- after a time it seems she found it again, or at least some form of it.

Last year I listened to and read Searching for Sunday by her as well.  Despite my best intentions it appears I never got around to writing a review on that one. As I struggle with this review- I can see why.  My feelings and thoughts are deep and varied and hard to put into words here.

The books, I would say are quite similar. Searching for Sunday talks more of the church in general.  This book {Inspired}focuses more on the Bible itself than the church in general.

Reading these two books has lead me down rabbit trails- seeking to find out more about her life, sadly she passed away last May. As I listened to her voice read this book I wonder what she thinks now.  When she stood before God were all her questions answered? If she were back on this earth would she stand behind her words- after a heart-to-heart with God and seeing from the perspective of eternity.  Or would her perspective have changed.  I sincerely wish there was a way to know.

My TBR {to-read} list has also grown as I have come across other books through her blog and such that I want to read too. I'll continue learning, seeking, trying to understand.

But bottom line while I enjoy reading about different perspectives, cultures and religions-  I believe the Bible is God-breathed, living and active. It speaks to my heart and spirit. I Believe it is TRUTH.  The ultimate truth. These books also make me thankful for the church family I belong.  A church where I feel like I belong. A church that strives to teach and practice both Grace and Truth.  A church that loves. A church I hope would welcome anyone.

Some quotes I liked from this book-

“While Christians tend to turn to Scripture to end a conversation, Jews turn to Scripture to start a conversation.” <- I think scripture should be the start.  I know a lot of people out there can give Christians a bad rap- but I don't think we should be beating people over the head with the Bible.  I think it can be used as a start, to open doors and hearts.

 “I’ve often said that those who say having a childlike faith means not asking questions haven’t met too many children.”

“The truth is, you can bend Scripture to say just about anything you want it to say. You can bend it until it breaks. For those who count the Bible as sacred, interpretation is not a matter of whether to pick and choose, but how to pick and choose. We’re all selective. We all wrestle with how to interpret and apply the Bible to our lives. We all go to the text looking for something, and we all have a tendency to find it. So the question we have to ask ourselves is this: are we reading with the prejudice of love, with Christ as our model, or are we reading with the prejudices of judgment and power, self-interest and greed? Are we seeking to enslave or liberate, burden or set free?”

“So in considering the writings of Paul, the question is not, Are head coverings good or bad? The question is, in that context, Did head coverings help or hurt the advancement of the gospel and the preservation of unity? The question is not, Should Christians eat meat? but rather, in that context, Did eating meat help or hurt the advancement of the gospel and the preservation of unity? And as we consider the application of Paul’s teachings in our various contexts today, the question is not, Should women be allowed to preach? but Do women preachers help or hurt the advancement of the gospel and the preservation of unity? Paul was smart enough to know the answers to these questions would vary from church to church and person to person, so surely he was smart enough to also know they would vary from culture to culture and century to century. Was Paul a man of his time? Of course. But that’s exactly the point. God meets us where we are, as we are. The Spirit shows up in the thick of it.” (emphasis added).

“This is what God's kingdom is like: a bunch of outcasts and oddballs gathered at a table, not because they are rich or worthy or good, but because they are hungry, because they said yes. And there's always room for more.” ― Rachel Held Evans, Searching for Sunday: Loving, Leaving, and Finding the Church

Change is H A R D & It's good to be ALIVE

Saturday started with 5 miles at the lake.

If you know me you know I am not a big fan of change and/or new things.

Its been a few years now since the below change was set in motion. I thought it was dumb and I pretty much told my Pastor and his wife so in so many words. I mean it wasn't like I was leaving the Church over it or anything... but I didn't have to like it either. It was kinda tabled for a little while- I prayed it would never come to pass... but low and behold it resurfaced this spring. Instead of kicking and screaming- I prayed God to change my heart.

He did.  Sunday morning I donned my brand new super soft Alive Wesleyan Church shirt with excitement instead of bad feelings.

It was also move up Sunday. Three new Kindergarteners in my class.

Last night I made this yummy sheet pan meal.

One Pan Dinner Sausage, Potato and Broccoli

I used Italian Chicken Sausage from Aldi and Trader Joe's BBQ Rub Coffee and Garlic- I of course cooked it on my Large Bar Pan

It was super yummy.

Last night I went to a local Pampered Chef team meeting. 

I decided a couple weeks ago I needed to get connected with local pampered chef peeps. Last night the meeting date rolled around... cue anxiety. 

I thought about just bailing again.  The director posted a reminder for the meeting on facebook. I commented I was going to try and keep myself from backing out  or pretending I forgot or couldn't make it.  Well- if no one comments- I won't go.  Like 4 or 5 people commented back. 💖  I texted my friend- she told me I would be glad I went. I knew she was right.  It was great to be back among pampered chef people again- I felt welcome and part of the group from the moment I walked in the door.  I am excited that I have booked 3 parties in the last two days! I can not wait for recipe night at the end of the month! =D

Don'tcha wanna Pampered Chef with ME? :D

It's good to do new things, push your boundaries a little, do things that scare you... I hear that's how you grow.

Weekend Wrap-up

What a gloomy day it is outside- working really hard to keep my attitude from mirroring it.

It was another jam packed weekend here.

Friday night Mikayla went to the junior prom with one of her friends.

Saturday morning I ran the Honor & Remember Run with my brother and sister-in-law...more on that in another post... 

Saturday afternoon we had our family pictures taken for the new church directory. We ended up buying one trio of pictures for our house (which were way, way over priced). Also looking at the proofs, I noticed I have somehow become the smallest member of our family.

Saturday night I had my first burger and shakes pampered chef party... It was pretty OK.  There were a couple things I would probably do different- if I do that theme again but it was fun over all! =)  Its the first time I have done an outdoor party too. My hosts had a really cute little back yard.  We made shakes in the manual food processor and it worked great! I may feature that on an upcoming What's She Makin' Weekend ;-)

Sunday morning I threw a package of cinnamon rolls in the oven for breakfast. I enjoyed one with my 2nd cup of coffee. :P Hit. The. Spot.

My husband tagged me in this post on FB- its pretty accurate. ;-)

Yesterday was my brother's birthday.  We celebrated with a cookout at Mom and Dad's.  Becca made him a Captain America cupcake cake.

I almost made PBJ for lunch but Mikayla reminded me off all the lettuce that needed used up. We also bought a plethora of berries last night, so I used those too. My salad is so pretty, it made me happy on this gloomy morning.

I have been struggling with this lately- it was bittersweet to have this come up in my memories this morning. I miss working at my church so much!

 

But today I am choosing to be thankful for the time I did have there, and thankful I am still apart of this wonderful body.  This past week our new youth pastor started. (He has also taken over in the office). My kids could not say enough about Pastor Ben and Katie on the drive home last night. It was so awesome to hear their excitement.  Last night was also our annual meeting at Church. It was great to sit and hear all God is doing in our Church, also to hear a few testimonies. It made me happy to sit in a pew with my mom and dad and brother and sister-in-law. I'm so happy my family is a part of my church family <3

Things I am reminding myself of today. To be thankful. God is in control. I am where He wants me, for today. It doesn't mean I will always be here. He can supply all my needs. <3

My heart is so full. Sunday my oldest two children were baptized.

The whole service was so special. It brought back so many memories of when I was baptized half a lifetime ago.  After the service my dad told me that now 3 generations of Nemitz's have been baptized there. My heart is so thankful for the rich legacy my family has in our church. I am so thankful for the friends and family that were there to celebrate with us.

Giving their testimonies-

I have decided... 

                       

...to follow Jesus...      

...no turning back...            

 ...no turning back....

Here are links back to when they first accepted Jesus as little children-

http://faith324.blogdrive.com/archive/73.html - Mikayla

http://faith324.blogdrive.com/archive/656.html - Ryan

Overflowing

Between church service yesterday, my darling Sunday school class and moms connect last night. I feel full to the brim. Ready to overflow. My heart is full.

My Sunday school class, yesterday I had my usual 6 lovely little girls. I love them so. Their sweet eager faces. Hearing their hearts as they pray. Helping them learn to use and treasure their Bibles.

In worship service we learned about 2 Samuel. King David. How he waited 23 long years to fully become king of Israel. Yet he kept seeking God's will. Striving to be content where ever he was. I get so impatient.  Waiting is so very hard. I am reminded again, I am where I am today for a reason. I will do my best today to walk the path He has for me. To be His light and overflow onto all I meet today.

Last night Moms Connect was such a blessing, our table was full. We laughed and shared and prayed. I left feeling better than I have felt in a really long time.  Today my heart is still full.

I started a new study. Devoted to Prayer by Love God Greatly. I almost bought their study guide from Amazon because of the coloring pages for the memory verse. But ended up not because I am cheap and mostly I prefer just to write in my devo journal anyway. You can follow along the study via the blog and download the study guide pdf (minus the coloring pages) for free. I just print the reading guide and follow the blog. =)  I am excited to dig deeper into the subject of prayer.  The blog today felt like a continuation of what we were talking about at Moms Connect on Sunday night.

Time with God is so very important. It is the oxygen that gets me through the day.