DONE!

I love that sense of accomplishment when a project is finally finished.

I started my ripple last October...closing in on the end of September now so it has been almost a full year. But in truth it has mostly sat neglected in the corner since Christmas time. I am not 100% happy. I planned to make it MUCH bigger. Like double its size in fact. But that would require going out and buying more yarn. And much more time. :( It is big enough to cover me. And will be warm and cozy. It wound up being roughly 40" x 61". A good size for snuggling up on the couch or outside on the hammock on a chilly fall day.

A close up...
 


The Full length...such as it is...

  

Now that I have finished and I am sitting back looking at it, I am left feeling that it is incomplete.  And like a quitter. :-(

Mikayla asked me last night as I was crocheting away while we were watching old Castle reruns together how long i had been working on it... at my confession she said then jokingly, "So I guess I don't stand much chance on getting one for my birthday."

To which I responded, "Well....if it start nowwww...." ;P

UPDATE: I have decided I LOVE my blanket and it is quickly becoming a family favorite ;P It always makes me smile now too look at it. I am mostly over the wishing it was bigger part! 

the light...

I am thankful for a God who hear.  Who answers prayers.  Saturday I saw a bit of light peaking through. I awoke with the same feelings of desperation.

I brewed coffee and sat down at the kitchen table.  I opened up Jesus Calling to the page for Sept 22... It was as if it had been written just for me.  For this day.  For this circumstance...

Trust Me and refuse to worry, for I am your Strength and Song.  You are feeling wobbly this morning, looking at difficult times looming ahead, measuring them against your own strength.  However, they are not today's tasks--- or even tomorrow's.  So leave them in the future and come home to the present, where you will find Me waiting for you.  Since I am your Strength, I can empower you to handle each task as it comes.  Because I am your Song, I can give you Joy as you work alongside Me.
Keep bringing your mind back to the present moment.  Among all My creatures, only humans can anticipate future events.  This ability is a blessing, but it becomes a curse whenever it is misused.  If you you your magnificent mind to worry about tomorrow, you cloak yourself in dark unbelief.  However, when the hope of heaven fills your thoughts, the Light of My Presence envelopes you.  though heaven is future, it is also present tense.  As you walk in the Light with Me, you have one foot on earth and one foot in heaven.  (Jesus Calling, pp277)

I read on looking up the verses listed at the bottom of the page a couple that God brought to mind as I read on....

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.    2 Corinthians 10:5

 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.   Hebrews 10:23

The Lord is my strength and my song;
    he has become my salvation.
He is my God, and I will praise him,
    my father’s God, and I will exalt him.
Exodus  15:2
  
 But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one.  2 Thessalonians 3:3

Saturday night I received a call for an interview. 

God is faithful.  I know He will guide me through this process and on to whatever it is He has for me in this next season of my life.  I am thankful for wonderful friends and family who I know are lifting me in prayer. 

fail.

Its been one of those nights.  Actually it wasn't so bad to start but escalated quickly...to the point I was screaming at Ryan.  Again.  I want to weep as I write this.  Its not a really huge deal I suppose. Another battle over the dishes.  Sigh.  Always.  I ended up yelling until we were both at the brink of tears.  Then sent him to bed.  After which I threw a tantrum like a toddler while I finished the dishes.  Slamming things around. Cursing myself for being such a horrid mom.

The house is quiet now.  I spent some time lying flat on my back on the living room floor.  Frustrated. Discouraged.  Pouring my angst out to my God. 

I got up.  Did my exercise routine.  Struggling to try and go through the motions while my inner storm kept brewing.

I have spent the week filling out application after application.  Feeling inexperienced and under-qualified for even a retail job.  I received one rejection already.  I have only ever been Mommy.  That's all my heart longs to be now.

I came on to write.  To try and find hope.  To post a few gifts.  To remind myself its not that bad.  Now I can barely see the screen through my tears.  .....

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.
Psalm 43:5

 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”  Joshua 1:9 NIV

 You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.’”  2 Chronicles 20:17 NIV

 He brought me out into a spacious place;
    he rescued me because he delighted in me.
Psalm 18:19 


¹⁶ I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, ¹⁷ so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, ¹⁸ may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, ¹⁹ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. ²⁰ Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹ to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.  Ephesians 3:16-20

So maybe tomorrow there will be light.

In the meantime...

• sunkissed clouds
• cooling rain
• listening to thunder rumble
• a quiet house
• Welcome Micah Levi Damor!!!!!
• the ability to excerise and move
• gift of tomatoes from Jess
• chat's with Mikayla after school 
• first Women of Grace meeting of fall
• a lunch date with my hubby
• DD pumpkin coffee from Rhett <3
• an impromtu picnic afternoon at the park
• Reading with Hannah after school
• finding Ryan's devo book
• Cooking Mik's birthday dinner with her
• quality time with my birthday girl
• birthday apple fritters and beverages from DD
• 13th birthday party
• finding a pic of the same 4 girls...4 years ago...How they have grown!
• Hannah got to sleepover at Makenna's
• Playing with Andrew and Liam in the bursery
• Birthday dinner for Grandma
• bedtime devotions with Ryan
• a quiet day at home
• laying in the grass, looking at the sky so BLUE
• kindergarten friends at the park

new week!

I started off the week strong with the Living and Active Challenge.  But towards the end I feel like I let life get in the way a little.  I felt like hanging my head in shame when my buddy asked me about it at Church on Sunday.   I did do a lot of baby bouncing in the nursery on Sunday too...perhaps I could count that as my Sunday work out...hahaha...kidding....mostly... ;P

BUT I have not given up...its a fresh new week and I am back at it with renewed vigor.  My goal is FIVE days working out this week since I slacked a little at the end of last week.  I am happy though that the three days I missed, I was up and active...its not like I was sedentary.  I was up and moving and on my feet most of day.

This week so far I am two for two.  Yesterday I did a kickboxing DVD and today Cardio Dance.  Also planning to add the Muffin Top Makeover that I came across in the last weeks challenge blog entry by Peak313.


I love the verse for this week...

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, 

for tomorrow will worry about itself.

Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Matthew 6:34

It is a pretty familiar verse to me anyway.  Yet I have been kinda stressing out about the future lately.  I needed that little reminder.

Now here's the main reason I got a little distracted from my workouts at the end of last week.  My oldest dear daughter turned THIRTEEN!! Saturday was a great day!  She and I got to have a little quality, one on one, mom-daughter time.  We hit DD for breakfast and did a little shopping then came home and got to work on party prep.  We had a great party that afternoon/evening celebrating her 13 years. ;-) What a blessing they have been!

pinteresting

I am adjusting to this new normal of a quiet empty house.  I am finding myself looking forward to actually getting a job and having somewhere to go and something to do... ;P That being said I am slightly apprehensive about my first day back to preschool tomorrow.  If you would say a prayer for me, I'd appreciate it.

This week I have tried/tested a few of the things I have pinned on pinterest.

On Monday I made myself a new purse. :) Here is the pin...

Source: snipsnaphappy.blogspot.com via Amy on Pinterest

And here is mine... still deciding if I LOVE it or not...but it was fairly simple and quick.  The hardest part being flipping it right side out.  It is fully reversible which I love.  And looks kinda fallish which I like too. :-) 
  

Tuesday I tried a new crockpot meal. It was GREAT!! Even Ryan loved it and he turns his nose up at a lot of things. It also made a ton, I felt like we barely made a dent in this giant bowl of chickeny-tacoy- deliciousness.  The mister took a dish for lunch today and I plan on eating it for lunch as well.  I think this one if definitely one that will stay in my repertoire.

Source: budgetbytes.blogspot.com via Amy on Pinterest

Wednesday marked the start of our Women of Grace Bible Study for the fall season. :-) I made a suitably fallish snack...These Chai Spice Pumpkin cookies. They were fabulous! ;)

Source: passthesushi.com via Amy on Pinterest

Living and Active

I came across this challenge on Pinterest. It immediately peaked my interest as I have been looking for something to keep me motivated in the exercise department. I have become increasingly discontent with the girl staring back at me from the mirror. :-/  Then Friday at my annual check up my doctor told me I have crossed that thin line between healthy and unhealthy.  Not by much....she said even five pounds would put me back within "healthy/normal" range.  She told me to get off my butt and get moving.  I said I would.

Just now on FB I saw this post...

Happy Monday morning!

Today's Joy Dare!

3 gifts moving...

{Thanking Him for it all}
 

Made me chuckle...guess it is time to get moving!  I am thankful that I am {relatively} young and healthy and I am going to make strides to become more healthy.  I am thankful for this life God has blessed me with.  I am thankful I have the ability to get up and get moving!

The memory verse that goes along with this week is Ecclesiastes 4:12

Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

 

I know I have at least one friend who is joining with me.  I encourage you to check it out as well. 

 

My body is a temple of the Most High God.  And its high time I start treating it as such!

 

Here is what I am doing personally.... I have three Denise Austin DVDs that I have had for ages and really like...


I also plan to mix it up a bit with dvd's from the Library.  And I hope to get in a bike of bit riding before winter sets in. Hannah has been begging to go on a bike ride but I didn't "feel like it" and didn't take her. :( {Bad Mommy.} I intend to fix that this week. :D

At risk of some embarrassment here is my before pic...looking slightly preggo and so very NOT!

First Day of School!

I can hardly believe the summer is over and fall is upon us!  I feel like the summer was a whirlwind and a blur.  We definitely had some good times. :) Lots of joy and laughter, and time with friends and family.

Last week as the summer wound down, I began to feel ready.  The kids were restless and as much as they protest I think ready to head back to school as well.  My baby is now a kindergartener.  In school full time.  I am ready now to move into the next phase of my life as well.  Praying for God's guidance and wisdom as I do.

Traditional First Day of School Pancakes

Mikayla started 8th grade.  Hard to believe in one more year she will be a high school student!  I enjoyed the hour she got home before her younger siblings and we were able to chat about our days.  I will surely miss that quiet time when I start working :-(

Ryan began the fourth grade.  He said his favorite thing was art class.  They are working on a Super Hero project.  The teacher took their photos and then they will be drawing their world in the background.  He is also very excited to be beginning saxophone in a week or two.

My sweet baby girl started Kindergarten! Hard to believe.  However it wasn't nearly has hard to watch her get on that big yellow bus as I had feared.  She was so excited, how could we not be excited too!  Her favorite thing at school was making new friends. She said she did not like the bus, that it made her feel sick....but I think it also may have been little bit of first day jitters.

Once all the kiddos were off to school and the Mister headed off to work I could hardly believe how quiet it was in the house!  A short while later, I was off to a job interview.  I still have some mixed feeling about working... I feel like there are some things I am bound to miss out on.  But ya gotta d what ya gotta do.  So hopefully I will soon be gainfully employed.  Praying the Lord will open the right doors for me and our family.  In addition to the part time job I am seeking I will also be assisting on morning a week at the Pre-school.  And facilitating our wonderful Bible study, Women of Grace,  one morning a week. :D

pray for your husband...everyday

This morning I have been perusing blogs starting with the Revive Your Marriage Challenge and then reading on to some of the ladies who have linked up.  This weeks challenge is praying for your husband.  Prayer is huge to me.  It has definately saved and revived my own marriage.  My mister and I are approaching out 14th wedding anniversary.  7 years ago we hit an extremely rough patch.  Without God and the prayers I had been lifting previously I am sure that would have been the end of the road for us.  Our first two children would be part of a broken home and our third child would never have even been conceived.  I shudder to think where we might be today without God, His healing grace and prayers.

One of the tools I have used often and highly recommend is The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian. I have read this book countless times.  It is one that should be in every wife's library.


I love this man with all my soul.  I feel so blessed to be his wife. I am happy to share our home and our children.  I pray that we still have a very long road to walk together.  Today also happens to be his 34th birthday! :~) Happy birthday my Love! <3<3<3

Be sure to lift up your mister in prayer today~

 


Here are links to the ladies who are doing the Sept series :) Definitely worth the read, check 'em out...